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“Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” a new reality TV series, draws attention for its over-the-top portrayal of five gay men -- including an interior decorator and fashion designer -- explaining style to clueless straight folks. While the Bravo show plays stereotypes for laughs, society is filled with gay florists and set designers, as well as lesbian gym teachers and prison matrons, who take their jobs seriously, stereotypes and all.
Male Flight Attendant
Ross Goldman, a 40-year-old flight attendant for a major airline, is the first to admit his profession is stereotypically gay. It doesn't bother him. “Flying is not a career; it's a lifestyle,” he says. “And this is the perfect lifestyle for me.”
Of course, he paid his dues. “I did the Billings, Albany, Rochester, four-flights-a-day-only-to-be-snowed-in-for-two-days-in-Grand Rapids-thing,” he notes. “That is not the typical career path for a nice Jewish boy from the suburbs.”
Is it the typical career path for a nice gay boy? When he became a flight attendant, Goldman did not know that many male flight attendants are presumed to be gay. Yet Goldman believes the profession attracts gay men for the same reason it attracts anyone: “It's about the hours and opportunities.”
Changing Perceptions
When Goldman began flying in the '80s, the story of the Air Canada flight attendant who was believed to have spread many initial cases of AIDS was well-known. As a result, Goldman heard negative comments from passengers. Now, while most Europeans and urban Americans do not look twice at him, “small-town, rural-route people assume any male flight attendant will be swishing up the aisle.” A colleague who was harassed “had the guy thrown off the plane so fast it wasn't funny,” recounts Goldman.
Goldman -- the first person at his airline to receive domestic-partner benefits for his lover -- says that gay men interested in careers as flight attendants should not be scared off by the perception that the profession is gay. “They should be scared off by the salary!” he laughs.
Turning serious, he adds, “It's not easy or glamorous, but the lifestyle is great for a gay kid, especially from a small town. You get out, see the world and expand your horizons.” The broadening effect works both ways. A straight female flight attendant he knows now lives with two gay men.
Female Physical Education Teacher
Pat Griffin also has firsthand experience with stereotypes. A professor of social justice education at the University of Massachusetts, she spent many years as a physical education teacher and a swimming, basketball and field hockey coach.
Though society is changing, she knows there is truth to the gym teacher stereotype. “If you were a strong, independent woman, the place to be was athletics,” says Griffin. “It was the one place you could be who you were. I didn't have to play the ‘femininity game' I was unequipped for.”
A Positive Influence
Griffin recalls many friends whose parents were opposed to their daughters becoming gym teachers. However, she notes, the positive aspects of following a career one truly loves are overpowering. “Sport is such a freeing place,” she says. “It's a way to escape the oppressive constrictions of femininity, and share a passion for something with other women who feel as you do.”
Like Goldman, Griffin sees positives for heterosexuals too. “Straight girls benefit from having powerful lesbians as coaches. They see another way to be a woman. They learn they can be strong and don't always have to let the boys win. When I was teaching, the little girls loved me. I was different from the other females, and even if they couldn't articulate it, they understood that was good.”
There Are No “Gay” Jobs
Not every gay man wants to be a flight attendant, florist or interior decorator, of course, and in the year 2003, lesbians have many more career opportunities than to become a physical education teacher. The world is filled with gay executives and accountants, and lesbian business owners and scientists. Gays/lesbians have broken nearly every employment barrier that exists. The next step, then, is to break down all stereotypes so no job category will be considered “gay” or “straight.”